The photos on my website show how pretty I still am, though I must admit they were taken five years ago.

I'm glad to know the Knees concept is still alive and kicking.

Some news about your theme song - I co-wrote and co-produced the Kenny and Cash Knees single. Yes, I am real. And believe it or not, still alive! I wrote the lyrics, Peter Lee Stirling wrote the music. The label says, Stirling-Cumming. Since then I have added an "s" to my name and Peter has become Daniel Boone. It happened like this...

I was listening to Kenny and Cash on London one day talking about knees and I thought why not write a song and see if my production company can sign them up for a deal? I half-owned a recording studio called City of London Studios in Aldgate, where we sometimes produced singles, all of which died quietly on release. Knees joined them, sadly. My idea was that at least we would get some airplay on Radio London. But by the time Knees was released Kenny Everett had left Radio London so nobody ever played it anywhere - unless they were trying to irritate Kenny years later.

Not knowing what to put on the B-side I wrote a piece called, brilliantly, the B-side – the side nobody listens to. The backing music was the Kenny-Cash theme. Peter Lee composed it and played guitar. The most exciting thing for me about this whole episode was not the writing or producing but the fact that I played tambourine on the B-side. A big thrill for a non-musician. Kenny, as I remember, sulked a bit through the recording session with a, ‘What the hell have I got myself into?’ attitude. Dave Cash was cheerful and seemed to really enjoy it.

The Sonny and Cher parody was a last-minute idea by Peter and co-producer Bernard as we did over-dubs. I was against it on the theory that comedy records should keep the music straight and the words and performances funny, but I was outvoted. There, after over 40 years I get to tell somebody how p****d off I was! So we sold the tape to Decca.

You are not going to believe this next bit – but Decca turned it over. They made the B-Side the A-side. Why? I have never understood. How could anybody understand? They neither asked us nor told us why. So it is not a catalogue error. It is for real.

Around that time I was also a TV writer doing a lot of what we called ‘special material’ for TV shows. I wrote the Val Doonican Show for years and the Rolf Harris Show for a couple of seasons. I penned specials for Lulu and Sandie Shaw and a bunch of other of 60s stars and was also involved in straight comedy.

I now live in Australia, still working as a performer on the corporate circuit.

Enough about me. Let me say I was always very proud of Knees. My kids were brought up on it and I still have a copy of the original 45. I don’t know why it got knocked so much by Kenny.

"Your legs would be pegs from your thigh to your heel,
How would you ice-skate, how would you kneel?"

Pretty good words if you ask me. Although you didn't.

Thrilled that the Knees world is still proceeding in an otherwise dull universe,

DAVID CUMMINGS (Now with an added 's'.)

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

David, who sadly died in September 2011, made a very successful business in Australia out of appearing at corporate functions as a spoof lecturer. He had an amazing comedy-writing CV, having penned for top talents like Dave Allen, Stanley Baxter, Kenneth Horne and Dick Emery. David was head writer for the Dick Emery Show, for which he created the famous 'street interview' scenes featuring Dick as 'randy Mandy' and 'Hello honky-tonk Clarence', etc.

The Knees Club was kneelighted to hear from David and some time after our initial contact a cassette arrived in the mail. It contained his original demo recording of 'Knees', as recorded by Peter Lee Sterling! We were able to take a copy along to Pirate BBC Essex to surprise Dave Cash during his stint on the morning show of August 13th.

We were grateful to David for taking the trouble to send the copy of the demo and to explain the story behind the single and naturally awarded him honorary KC membership. His widow Patricia told us, "I'm happy to report that his knees were intact to the end."