ITLAPD P.A.R.R.O.T. SUPPLEMENT INDEX
Another 'Sound of Music' sea shanty from the pen of the Knee Wench!
A 'Sound of Music' sea shanty from the pen of the Knee Wench!
Wot's this all abaht then? Read the ITLAPD intro.
Improve your pirate vocabulaaary with our Pictorial Dictionary
Everybody's Talkin' – our pirate photo gallery
Mac 'The Knife' Peters' reveals his dubious family history
Real radio pirates tell landlubbers how it was
Hot high-seas fashion tips from 'Nancy Boy ' Beardfumbler
The Radio London Pirate Fab Forty

A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible."
"What d'ya mean, ya scurvy nave?" said the pirate. "I feel fine."
"What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
"Well, we was in a battle and I got hit with a cannonball, but I'm fine now."
"OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?"
"We was in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. Me right 'and was cut off. I got fitted with a hook. I'm fine, really."
"What about that eye patch?"
"Oh, one day we were at sea and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up, and one of 'em pooped in my eye."
"You're kidding," said the bartender, "you couldn't lose an eye just from some bird poop."
"Arrrrr! It were me first day with the 'ook."